Troubled As A Storm

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I’d be sad that I never held your hand as you were lowered
But I’d understand that I’d never let it go
I’d be sad that I never held your hand as you were lowered
But I’d understand that the world does what it does

~ Laura Marling

My head has been spinning all day. I haven’t been able to write anything. I don’t know why I’m so distracted, but I’m afraid I haven’t been able to make any decent material today. 

Still, I’m here, just to show my face. So hey.

I went for a swim in the sea, just before sunset. It’s getting gradually colder after summer. It was completely calm, and silver, like a giant, hypnotising mirror. The tiny waves lapped at the shore, and the beach was almost empty, except for an old couple and two girls I thought were mental until I realised they were doing a gymnastics routine. 

The water was clear as crystal, and I swum a long way out of my depth. The water turns a beautiful green colour as it gets deeper. Once I was far enough, I tried not to look down, and then I floated. 
There is no greater medicine than the cold ocean. It humbles you with its unfathomable power, washes away the stresses of the day, and clears your mind.

Looking up at the sky, temporarily weightless, I couldn’t help but sing. You don’t forget your troubles, but the ocean forces you to be grateful. To be thankful that it chooses not to consume you. To be thankful that, even in all the chaos, you can still be weightless, light as a feather, on one surface of the earth.

And that is how I, a girl as troubled as a storm, could be found singing “Titanium” at the sky, even on one of my worst days.

So thank you, to the magnificent ocean.
Thank you for reminding me of the simple privilege I have: being alive.
Sometimes I forget what to be thankful for, but you put me straight without fail. 
So thank you.

~ Ross
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