I love winter.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s freezing, and my feet get so cold they keep me awake at night, not to mention the wind and rain.
But when I walk across the garden, if I take a deep breath in, I’m transported back in time.
Back to our amazing Christmas tree, and the bright lights strung all around the kitchen. Lighting the fire, dancing, laughter filling the house, candles being lit when the power went out, crosswords at midnight, Kate Bush being played at top volume. Hugs and tears and present-swapping, cheesy old British films, the annual roast, stockings filled with goodies. Swims in the sea where you’d come out with your skin buzzing, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
One sniff of the air outside, and I get a rush of happiness. November and December are my best months of the year. My birthday is in November, and obviously Christmas is in December. Everyone is happy at Christmas, nearly always. Last Christmas feels like yesterday, and although this Christmas might be difficult, I will have my best memories to hold onto.
I’m going to make some pre-Christmas resolutions:
I’m going to swim in the sea on my birthday.
I’m going to save up my money for a piano keyboard.
I’m going to try my best.
The only one you might comment on is the last one. But I’ve realised, after a hell of a lot of pain, that my best is enough. I know I’m going to be okay.
2016 was absolutely horrible, and 2017 was difficult. 2018 has been a combination of fantastic and horrific… but I’ve got through it. I will continue to get through it, as well.
I’m strong enough.
Rock on 2019, because I’m ready for you.